Don't let me leave
Stop me before I get to the door
My heart is here
Invested in you
But my pride and anger gets in my way
Tearing me apart
Beating me down
Please keep me close
You will miss me
And I won't let myself walk back to you
I am to proud to admitt I was ever wrong
Wrapped up in disaster
Swipt out to sea
twisted by desire to be something different
Refusing to stop reaching
I always have quit to easily
Letting you down quietly
Wishing to not dissapoint this time
But its  inevitable no matter how hard I have fought
I can see through you
And you are let down
But please don't let me walk out on us
Throw me a lifeline of forgivness
You know I am sorry even if my mouth cannot form the words
I am lost and ashamed to hurt something so beautiful
To crumble
To shake our beliefs
I am standing here pausing for you
Waiting for your invitation to stay

Letters to nobody
Words for no one
promises are empty
emotions unspoken of
Time is lost
Plans are forgotten
drifted to the ground
Useless information
Speaking in silence
Conversations run dry
Patience is all gone
Screaming, pleading for anything
Despair fills the emptiness
Sickening reserve
Unleash me from this demise
Renew my strength
things that were never meant to be
Give me, instead of take
The paper is blank
The letters erased
Leaving traces of they're former selves
reminiscent of what they were
Before they became these words to nobody
Meaningless fill
Tasteless energy
"The End" brings us no steps closer to closure
I may have grown
My ways may be wiser
But, these words were meant for nobody
And that is just who you are.

I have spent most of my life
trying to write this song that fills my heart
The tune that carries me through my day
It lifts the curtains, letting the sunshine through
Surprises me, turning my night into day
Giving me hope that things will get better
When there is no life raft in sight
I hum the melody like its an old friend
Been there this whole time, keeping me company
When things seem out of control it keeps me grounded
It just makes sense like nothing else
completing me
Ending this silence I have carried for so long
Reminding me to keep going
To continue to breathe
Its not the end just bc the song is over
Making room for a new one to begin
Taking hold of me
Riding the highways of my soul
Set on cruise control, taking it slow
Enjoying the scenes of my life
The memories like painted pictures in my mind
They surface, rising to the top
just reminders of brighter times
The music in my heart never skips a beat
The glue that holds me together
Giving me the hope I am stronger than I appear

I laugh when I am nervous
Seems to always happen at the worse time
But this always makes you smile
I cry during movies or when I am scared
And you find this endearing
I'm not perfect
But you love me anyhow
I yell when my anger gets the best of me
But I love with every tip of my being
You know my hatred stems from hurt
And accept that's the way it is
You ride this out
Full of highs and so many lows
I am a ticking ball of emotions
And still you play my games
You don't seem to mind the whirlwinds I create
The fact that I spin you upside down
You just tighten the seat belt
Taking it all in stride
Around my heart I have built a wall
You've managed to build a door
You know it to be true that I am not as hard as I act
That its a front
And I thank you.
Thank you for staying by my side
For loving me for the things I am
And forgetting the things I am not

You're so dramatic
Whoever said this was about you
These words I write
They flow deeply from my soul
From the darkness in my mind
My heart pumps these emotions
bleeding violet
spilling out these letters to complete a thought
But they are not of you
Trying to release this yearning
It tears me apart from my center
Bending and manipulating all that branches out
Rising up till it reaches its peek
Rolling and tumbling around inside my head
Till they make that connection
Circulating around in my body
Swirling around touching and illuminating every fiber of me
Holding this in till I think I may break
Finally, reaching to my finger tips
Where they form the finally thought
Before striking the paper
The maddening itch has subsided
As the words emerge
I am set free
No longer they're prisoner
This was only for me

I always thought of the places we'd go
Realizing I was always to busy looking elsewhere
To take the time to see what was already here
Where will we be when the dust settles?
All the dreams we carried seem to have disappeared
Not sure if we ever understood what growing up was
I hardly recognize us these days.
Its like we're playing roles that someone else picked out
We seem to have faded into the background
Growing more distant from those lives
Its hard to compromise with these walls closing in
Do you see or are you too consumed with playing your character?
I miss late nights dancing barefoot under stars
Drinking each other up
till the sun peeked from under the covers of night
Please remind me, the way to be
The steps retraced back to us
Untamed just waiting to be named
enamored by the possibility of what lays ahead
Living in that moment
Tomorrow, what was that?
Just a fleeting thought
Close your eyes and picture this
Imagine for a moment if you will
A path back to those days
Would you take my hand and accompany me?
Paint me a picture of what you see
I wouldn't give up what we have today
I just need to be reminded that this isn't all I am
That laying beneath this is the foundation of us
That we can still be those people
I wouldn't trade in my life for any yesterdays
But a visit now and then
To be reminded of how we felt, how we smiled
I could live with that, so please remind me.

Kisses light fire
Tears like rain
If you're left standing
then I applaud you
My words can rip right through you
I have no problem tearing down another
just to save myself from drowning
But yet you still stay
My friend,my lover
Not sure if I would be so big
To stick around when things get so thick
I'm always testing
Just pressing you
Thinking eventually you will fold
That things will get so tough and you will make your exit
I know you can't be replaced
No one would stay in this beautiful mess I've made
Catching and releasing the pain
pardoning my sentence of the grief I have caused
You don't let a thing pass by you
making me accountable
Facing up and owning what I do to others

I feel for you
but this distance,it grows
Give me the strength to cut my loss
Pushed me to the breaking point
Screaming out loud for everyone to stare
This is a train wreck
Sick of lacking appreciation
I want to stop chasing this concept
The one that keeps me on this track
I always figure this has to mean something
To who I am uncertain of
Not sure of the craziness that travels through this mind
Imagine you always being so misunderstood
The madness that would dominate your world
Invading your sanity
I don't have another round
It would run right over me
Take every last bit

You do not know me or what I've done
The people that have loved me
and the ones that I've misused
The memories that have saved me
and The words that have left their scars
You always think your going to be the one that saves me
Unfortunately its not that apparent
At least to me...
A mirror image of what I want to be
You might not understand the desolation that has grown
My secrets that penetrate my soul
Feelings and emotions that are electrified
Flowing out from the very center of me
So many places that are undiscovered
And hidden from the view of you
Your always making guesses trying to figure me out
But the simple truth is I won't let it be that easy
You have no clue the length I will go to conceal myself
These walls were not built in a day
I'm selfish when it comes to time
And I will take all I want

Let these hands make the words that can reach your heart
To give you hope
Absently seeking a new way to get through to you
Let the energy flow from these finger tips
so they may touch you to you're core
To spell out the words I can no longer say
Let these hands find yours in the darkness
For a chance for a fresh start
A chance to redo and to fix all the mistakes
Let these hands be the light in your storm
So you may always find your way home
To me where you have always belonged
Let these hands wash us clean
Bring back the life that has been wiped away
create the songs of a new day
Let these hands be held by yours
Cause you are the beholder of my affection
My muse that lends me these words
Let these hands take every bit of you in
Close to my heart where you've always been
I will not take you for granted again
A promise I make with these two hands.

There must be more
More to this life
I can feel it trying to breakout
Trying to breathe to steady myself
But it consumes my whole being
A feeling of being cornered
Trying to be released

Blank paper
so white and barren
A waste land of my words
Holder of my affliction
Owner of all my angst
You've been mishandled
Furnished with my regret
But you're here anyhow
My companion who holds the map
The lines you wear on you're page
I'm never depleted with you in hand
I pour my heart out on you
My masterpiece, my art
that has come from within
My keeper of the words that escape me
Without apprehension
You accept me for who I am
And in the end
you are still white....
My words Intertwined too closely to my soul

Once a time ago you were here
but time has passed and you're gone
took for granted when you said you're I do's
promised to never betray
now I am looking through you
thought I would always know you
in a crowd you're just another face
You intrude on every thought
my days are lost just thinking of you
I have paid with my tears
Apart from all I have known
You were always like coming home
Taste like sun ,felt like love
But your darkness has left this rage
Not sure how to stop this
or even if I can
Cannot accept the drifting
But it all comes down to you

Hands like sandpaper
lust is mistaken for love to many times
molding this empty soul
Darkness covering my mistakes
Festering my fears
Freeing me from regrets
Opening myself to the wrong doings I have committed
Headlights tracing lines on the ceiling
Dancing shadows across the sheets
Sweet lies just to make it all seem right
Quivering lips shaking hands
This is misinterpreted as something
When we both knew this was nothing
Just a blip, a split second of misjudgement
Throwing caution to the wolves
Trading a peice of me for a moment of you
There is warmth in the morning light
regret of the empty pillow laying next to me
With the dawn you were gone
exposing the nothingness you have left behind
repeating this mistake has come a at price
but we both know it will happen again
And I will gladly pay just to not feel alone.

Get back up Fight the good fight
nothing is ever the same again
choices have changed our lives
Time has somehow manage to slip by
Wish I would have took a picture of the day we met
I might remember why I smiled when you approached
I haven't the time these days,
to recall the first time you told me you loved me
But I do remember when  you told me it would be forever

On and on we go
We run run for something better
We hope to feel something anything
Pain happiness its all the same
Desperately seeking that one thing that will change it all
We all hope its uncovered
To feel is to be touched

Don't leave in the morning light
Please do me this favor
But If you must leave please do it under the darkness of the moon

forgot who I was...
Was I ever..
RAin wash me clean...
Remind me, make me, please just take me.
Waves crashing, all around its thrashing.
Life is never fair.
Stuck,feeling the air being sucked away from me
Turn it inside, pull it outside.
I am better than I once was?
Once I was better.
Pills are happy, but still I lay blue.
It makes no sense to me to be this way.
Just say I am dreaming
Just wake me, break me
Life is passing by without skipping
No repeats, no redos.
Why is so hard to feel so isolated
Surrounded, just drowning
I miss me, stuck just wishing for a clear day
Wanting to run, wanting to want anything
Just waiting, screaming in silence.
But it never seems to end
Where has the light gone?

Fitting in has always been a struggle
But since I found you
my songs have a chorus
my puzzles fit together
all the peices are there
I have always tried to belong
Belong to someone
Belong to something
But I never made any sense
Words just tumbled never being complete
Nothing has ever held me the way you're eyes do
We dance without a beat
we love without cause
It is just because it is
Mastering the steps
Retracing the lines
Following my heart
Following your lead
Without you I might not have ever existed
This person now is new
And that is all thanks to you
You've made this shell a home
You've made his heart your own.
emw641

I'm dancing to the song in my head
Singing the words you once said
I will be better than this
Better than myself today
I will be who I was meant to be
Being is part of believing
I set my own limits and they are endless

Welcome to "My World". I am a pretty open book. I hope you enjoy all that you see and feel free to let me know what you think of my writting. This is the first time I am publicly sharing my work. I have been writting since I can remember, and this has always been my passion. I have always dreamed one day I would be able to share this with the world. And that my work can either inspire or make others not feel alone. Sometimes it may be dark and sometimes it might be light and lovey. As everyone knows life is like that and is clearly reflected through my writing.

Days have gone on...
I have forgotten to love you
just assumed you'd always be here
Next to me but so far away
I tremble at the thought of the distance
Empty we've become but still we hold on
Hoping to refill what we have lost
This has become to real
and yet feels so fake
I am a mess, slowly fading
I wish I knew what my heart felt
But there seems to be a huge disconnect
There must be a way
A path Back to where we once were
And if not a road to something new we may hold
If only....
emw641